Growing up, I had a hatred for seafood. I would cough, convulse, and make hurling sounds at the mere mention of dishes like shrimp, salmon, or sushi. But then during a Christmas trip to Kauai, I tried Mahi Mahi for the first time. Maybe it was the smell of the ocean or fresh Kona coffee brewing that hypnotized me, but I was open to giving it another whirl. It was simple. The Mahi was blackened on the grill and finished off with a fresh squeeze of lime juice. And when I took my first bite, I was a little confused by the little miracle happening in my mouth. It was meaty like a steak but at the same time delicate. There was no disgusting fishy smell. Not in the least. Instead I found myself licking my plate clean wondering how I could do that all over again. Thank you Hawaii, and thank you my friend Mahi Mahi, for what you have done for me.
Last week, I was standing at the counter of a local seafood market I had heard about but had never gone into. The fishmonger told me of a shipment coming in from Hawaii the next day and that the fish would be so fresh that it wasn’t even caught yet. I responded with, “I’ll be here tomorrow.” I came back and immediately had my eye on the Tuna. Oh baby, this sweetheart was deep red. And she screamed to me from inside the case, “Please eat me like sashimi with soy sauce and wasabi!” I responded with, “I’ll take her.”
And it was that simple. I came home, took 12 oz. of Big Eye Red Tuna that had just come out of the water 
less than 24 hours prior, and sliced delicate pieces on to my plate. With chopsticks I gently bathed each piece with a mixture of freshly-made wasabi and soy and placed the Tuna on my tongue. And that’s when the magic happened. It literally melted in my mouth. That’s when you know you have a great piece of fish. It doesn’t smell fishy. It should have a slight scent of the ocean. I like to ask to smell the fish over the counter, and I close my eyes and try to imagine white sand beaches, hammocks tied between palm trees, and fresh mangoes picked from a tree. If instead I get a flood of memories of my dirty locker room during high school football, or of the time I was living in Romania and the garbage men went on strike, then I know it’s not worth coming close to my lips.
Yesterday I had to go back. I had to see if it was just a fluke or if I had indeed found a little treasure in my landlocked city. So I strolled in asking what was fresh. This time, I was pointed towards the Wahoo or “Ono”. It’s not as steak-like or meaty as the Mahi but very firm and delicate. As he sliced it up, another man was weighing what looked to be lump crab meat. I asked, “Is that lump crab meat?” He smiled and handed me a piece. As I slowly chewed, I think a tear rolled down my cheek right there in front of him. I responded with, “Yes please.”
When dealing with fish on this level, you try to keep it simple and let the freshness speak for itself. I took some wonderful French sea salt, cracked black pepper, and smoked paprika and coated it on both sides of the Wahoo. In a stainless steel pan over medium heat, I put extra virgin olive oil and raw Jersey butter. I cooked the fish for 4 minutes on each side, and as it sizzled in the pan I danced back and forth while spooning ladles of browning butter all over my main attraction. When she was done I took her out and laid her on a big red plate and went to work on the grande finale. In the pan, after cooking it like that, your fish leaves you little bits of goodness. It’s my job to get those guys and make a sauce that will make you jump up and down like the Holy Spirit just came upon you. On medium low I added lemon juice, chopped parsley, chopped garlic, and cream. Scrape scrape swirl. Scrape scrape swirl. Don’t be in a hurry. Because just when you think things couldn’t possibly make you smile more, you add the lump crab meat. Toss it around just to heat and then slowly spoon all over the Wahoo. I was playing the Gene Kelley Pandora station on my iPhone, and with candlelight the feeling was perfect. I took my first bite and was reminded instantly why I love fresh fish. Maybe it’s because I don’t feel bloated or heavy afterwards. Maybe it’s knowing I spent 20 bucks on something that would cost 100 at a nice restaurant. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s because it reminded me of simple food and simple living, and I know it doesn’t get much better than that.
Filed under: 40 Days
Yesterday was weigh-in. I’m 204. I knocked off another 5 bringing my grand total to 10 pounds total. I think what’s funny about the whole thing is that last year during the cleanse it was all about losing weight and making my body feel amazing. By Day 21 last year during the cleanse, I felt a spiritual awakening that I was not expecting. This year, I planned it the other way around. I really wanted this time to be a spiritual time. And without even knowing it my body let go of 10 pounds of blubber. Weird.
I finished reading The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Great book. It’s going to be a movie this October. I never thought I’d be one of those guys that says it but I will: “Read the book before you see the movie.”
I just started The Challenge of Jesus by N.T. Wright. Only 15 pages in, and it’s solid. I leave you with this:
“Many Jesus scholars of the last two centuries have, of course, thrown Scripture out of the window and reconstructed a Jesus quite different from what we find in the New Testament. But the proper answer to that approach isn’t simply to reassert that because we believe in the Bible we don’t need to ask fresh questions about Jesus. As with God, so with the Bible; just because our tradition tells us that the Bible says and means one thing or another, that doesn’t excuse us from the hard task of studying it afresh, in the light of the best knowledge we have about its world and context, to see whether these things are indeed so. For me, the dynamic of a commitment to Scripture is not, ‘We believe the Bible, so there’s nothing more to be learnt’, but rather, ‘We believe the Bible, so we’d better discover all the things in it to which our traditions, including our “Protestant” or “evangelical” traditions, which have supposed themselves to be “biblical” but are sometimes demonstrably not, have made us blind.’ And this process of rethinking will include the hard and often threatening question, whether some things that our traditions have taken as ‘literal’ should be seen as ‘metaphorical’, and perhaps also vice versa – and, if so, which ones. “
Friday night our friend brought home 2 huge slices of moist cake from Society Bakery. Friday night was 
when I cursed this damn cleanse. I brought it up to my nose, and I could smell the vanilla extract and butter cream. For the next 5 minutes, we discussed (seriously) how we all had a tough week, and sweets and a good movie would hit the spot. It was in my moment of weakness that I realized why this cleanse is so important to me. Because I live as an American in a culture driven by consumerism. It’s a mentality that is saturated with the notion that if you want it, then you can have it. Granted, there are those moments in my life where I don’t get everything exactly how I want it, but if I’m honest with myself, I rarely go without.
Jesus just got done feeding 5,000 very hungry folks and his compadres start bickering about the fact that they don’t have any bread. He gently reminds them of how He just fed the crowds on 12 loaves. And then they speak and say they believe He is the Messiah. And that’s when Jesus says this: “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the Gospel’s will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul? For what will a man give in exchange for his soul? For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His father with the holy angels.” (Mark 8: 34-38)
I’ve realized that’s why I’m doing this. Because it seems very cute and cozy these days to say we are followers of Christ but then we do not obey the very words He spoke. He said deny yourself. He warns of how the world can be so convincing. And it’s true. Wave chocolate cake in front of my face and I’ll easily sell my soul. It’s not that a little sugar will ruin me. It’s that I NEVER go without. It’s always about me, my needs, my wants, and what I am trying to get out of life. I don’t want that. What I want is to love people better. To serve people more than I serve myself. To joyfully give more than I take in. And I want to do that because it’s what my Savior has asked me to do. On day 10, I seem to maybe get it a little better. Just a little.
Food Tangent…
Final little word. When it comes to cooking organically, one of the biggest questions I get is about seasoning. My first lesson if I could share would be this. Master salt and pepper. I know that sounds so simple but it really should be. In this basic lesson there are 2 things to consider: 1. Quality. Find the very best sea salt and use only cracked black pepper. 2. Trust your taste buds. Don’t worry about how much, just go on taste. And by that I mean take a bit, season, and then take a bite. Stop when it tastes really good. Try this out on eggs. Scramble some farm-fresh eggs with coconut milk. Cook on medium low to medium heat and slowly stir. You’ll get a very creamy fluffy egg. Plate and then season. If you can get this perfected, steamed veggies and breakfast potatoes become a snap.
Filed under: 40 Days
A week ago today I was enjoying a wonderful private screening (free tickets) at the Angelika of Julie and Julia while I gorged myself on all things delicious and bad for you. I also got on our rickety scale and marked myself at 214. Today I’m 209. And my belly feels great.
I can’t stop thinking about movies. I heard the series Band of Brothers was good. I’ve also been wanting to see G.I. Joe but over the past several years I just can’t seem to bring myself to pay $72 at the movie theater when I know my local Blockbuster will hook me up with $1.99 on new releases. Oh – and also the fact that I’m going 40 days without movies. Why again did I agree to that? And why again is it so hard to go without watching anything?
Today for breakfast I kept it simple. Grass-fed beef, eggs, and onions. Lunch was also delicious as I scarfed beef tacos: grass-fed beef browned in tomato paste with sea salt, cracked pepper, and chili powder. Added some organic pintos mashed up with brown rice for some rockin’ tacos. For a snack I had crispy walnuts/almonds/cashews with grapes and cherries.
I went for a power walk with my hottie. Sweated a little. And was thankful I live in an area with huge oak trees that hang into the street and homes that are from a long time ago. The breeze was amazing, and the feel of fall around the corner and sitting by the fire pit made me smile. As a part of the cleanse I’m challenging myself to move more. Its amazing how I can live in a high-paced city and lifestyle but find myself not moving much at all. Why is that?
Finally I washed my hair. And this time with shampoo. That’s right, I’ve been getting into the habit of showering without actually cleaning my hair. Surprisingly my hair looks great and I don’t have to use product. My goal is to only get 1 cut before 2010. I will need to time it perfectly.
Filed under: 40 Days
There are certain things in life you can’t avoid. Taxes are one of them and the other is farting. And let’s face it, when we’re eating food that is not good for our bodies our stomachs get very upset with us. As do the people around us. Knowing the cleanse was coming up I was shoveling in dairy, grains, and sugar as if I were in a pie-eating contest. You know you need a cleanse when there is a foul odor rising in the room and you are looking to see where your dog is so you can blame it on her. Isn’t it funny how quickly we forget that miserable feeling though? I can finish a dinner at Gloria’s with chips, salsa, black bean dip, and fajitias and as I waddle out the door I promise myself I’ll never do that again. By noon the next day the aches in my gut fade away and I’m pretty sure I need an Oh My God Cake from Kozy with a cup of hot coffee. Why do we torture our bellies? Its a mystery to me…
Today I took a break and sat on my back steps while the pooches ran around the yard. I had a handful of almonds I had soaked overnight and dried for 24 hours with sea salt. In the other hand was a ripe nectarine. I finished with a smile knowing there would be no gas and no one to blame.
Filed under: 40 Days
Tonight a small group of friends got together to have dinner. But instead of a table-full of drinks, food, and dessert we sat on the floor and ate a meal that the majority of the world sees on a daily basis. Beans and rice. No salt, no sides, just beans and rice. We sat there eating our 1 cup of beans and 1 cup of rice hoping that our hearts would guide us into conversations that would give us perspective. The reality is that with almost 7 billion people in the world, the majority of those people do not have clean water and some 25,000 children die every day because of poverty. And that just hurts my heart. But probably what hurts it even more is that I have spent most of my life not taking notice at all. America somehow does that to you. I think maybe this is what can be referred to as institutional sin. Poverty, racism, and things like that which affect so many different people on so many levels.
I don’t really know what to do with it all. And I feel like I’m still processing. But here is what I do know. I know that if I want to be a follower of Jesus then I have to take seriously what He said about those who are poor, marginalized, and oppressed. The Lordship of Jesus in your life does a very funny thing. You want to embrace it and give it the bird all at the same time. Its scary AND full of joy. As I allow myself to see the real world and to experience the real Gospel certain things are becoming more clear to me. I just don’t see how you can get your hands dirty and be in the middle of all the hurt and not see the need of a greater hope. It’s almost as if there is a crying out for things to be made right again. Sometimes I can’t see it. And maybe that’s because I’m too busy looking at my bank account. Other times I can’t feel it. Maybe that’s due to my air conditioning not getting the temperature right. The reality of the world is there. I just choose every day to see it or be blind to it.
Going to bed now…a little hungry…a little changed.
I want to watch a movie. Shawshank Redemption, Life is Beautiful, Ratatouille. Anything with a great story of redemption, perseverance, or a cute mouse that can make a wonderful hollandaise sauce. I’ve realized today that something we love to do as consumers is escape. To leave our reality and “forget” what life throws at us. So, I lay here clutching the book The Road by Cormac McCarthy trying to convince myself that this is more riveting than The Last of the Mohicans with Daniel Day Lewis.
I have had a lot of Enfusia today. A lot. On days like today when I need energy because I woke up at 5am to prepare for our Organic Co-op I am very thankful for Enfusia. I mean “Thank You Jesus” kind of thankful. I sipped on it all morning and forgot I was on this damn cleanse. Lunch today was squash stir fry with chicken breast and avocado chunks on top. Seasoning is the key here. Sesame seeds in my stir fried veggies has become a favorite, and just the right amount of sea salt, cracked pepper, and cumin makes any avocado dance. And then the cravings set in – sugar cravings like I needed my next fix of Meth. I reluctantly took a look at my list of fruits I can eat and we only had one: green apples. I hate green apples. OK, so maybe I don’t hate them but I’m not a lover of super tart things.
Two weeks ago I was downtown hanging out on the streets with the homeless people giving them some fruits and veggies, and I quickly saw that it’s not just kids who don’t like to eat their veggies. I asked one guy if he wanted the broccoli. He looked at the little green tree, looked back at me, and said, “Do you have Ranch?” Unfortunately I responded with a sad, “No.” But his words reminded me that anything can taste better with the right dip. So I give you my favorite anti-fungal solution to having to eat green apples without the skin.
Coconut Cashew Dip
In a bowl I put several spoonfuls of raw cashew butter. A handful of shredded coconut. A few big dashes of cinnamon. And I start stirring like crazy as I’m adding coconut milk for the perfect dip consistency. From here I could go so many directions. Add chopped up strawberries, handful of blueberries, or scoop Ben & Jerry’s Cinnamon Oatmeal Cookie Ice Cream all over the top and…oh sorry…I faded out for a second.
I just finished dinner. Eggs scrambled with zukes. Seasoned to perfection by the Wife who is eating chicken broth. I wanted seconds. But I didn’t get any. I have been trying to remind myself of those in places like Bolivia who won’t eat for days. Or what about the little boy in the Sudan who asks the question, “What does meat taste like?” How about the millions in India who have to walk 6 miles to get dirty water? Can you imagine the emotions of not knowing when the hunger will stop?
I hope through prayer I’ll learn not to have pity or to even punish myself, but to give myself perspective that consuming like we do in the West is not reality. The bubble I live in is not what the majority of the worlds faces every day. So as I feel this pull to pop in an episode of West Wing Season 4 I hope to sit in those feelings – that thought of “I want what I want, and I want it now.” I hope I can sit in that thought. And maybe…just maybe I’ll gain some perspective on a hurting world.
Filed under: 40 Days
Anyone still reading? Is anyone out there? I have not posted anything since my big 40 day cleanse on the old blog last year so my guess is I’ve lost all 8 readers I used to have. It just so happens to be that time of the year where a cleanse would do wonders for my body, and I thought I’d start blogging again. Knowing the cleanse was coming I fell off the bandwagon and gorged myself on all kinds of things I normally don’t eat. Whole Foods peanut butter chocolate chunk cookies with Vanilla Haagen Dazs. All natural jalapeno blue cheese puffs. Popcorn, with lots of butter. And vanilla almond macaroon granola. Yesterday alone was the pinnacle of my sin and debauchery as I consumed an ice cream sandwich, cookies, peanut butter chocolate cake with cream cheese icing and a hot cup of coffee. Praise Jesus for taste buds. But I felt like shit when I woke up. So today I committed to 40 days. But not just with food this time. I’m hoping for so much more.
For the next 3 days I’ll be eating a strict anti-fungal diet. No sugars of any kind. No coffee. No fruits except berries, avocados, green apples, and grapefruit. No grains of any kind. No beans of any kind. No processed meats of any kind. No root veggies. No dairy. The only oils will be coconut and extra virgin olive. The anti-fungal can be a whip for anyone who has tried it. 3 days will be enough for me. But it will be the jumpstart I need for the remainder of the cleanse.
Since I have not written in 2009 I haven’t been able to share that we gave up DISH Network for the year. Some DVDs here and there, but for the most part we’ve stuck to reading. And it’s been great. But over the next 40 days I will not watch anything on TV or the computer at all. I’m going to devote my time to reading and journaling – two things I’d really like to do more of. Some books I want to read are: The Gospel in a Pluralist Society by Newbigin, The Challenge of Jesus by NT Wright, A Generous Orthodoxy by Brian McLaren, Mastering the Art of French Cooking by Julia Child, and Rodale’s Encyclopedia of Organic Gardening. With no movies to distract me I hope to make a dent in this diverse list.
After the 3 days I plan to have zero sugars from honey, agave, maple syrup, or Rapadura. The only grains I’ll eat are brown rice and quinoa – and have those sparingly. I will consume zero dairy, even raw. And limit myself on sugary fruits and root veggies. I will not eat out a single meal. I’m going to try and eat as many raw foods as possible. And probably my biggest focus will be how little I can consume. My great conviction lately is how materialistic and consumerist I can be. So my hope over the next 40 days is that I learn to go without and that my paradigm would shift in that area. We’ll see. I love to eat and eat a lot.
Today I feel hungry. And since it’s Friday I wanted to watch a movie. But I was reminded at the homeless shelter tonight that food has a strange power over us. When we don’t have it we can get angry, hostile, and aggressive. If we consume too much of it we become greedy, arrogant, and wasteful. So hopefully I can learn some balance over the next several weeks.
